Once the HCG levels from the third pregnancy completely left my body, my fertility specialist felt it was best for me to conceive and have a successful pregnancy so I can finally be happy. I believed my specialist but still had some skepticism. Regardless, I wanted to do anything that wouldn’t make me feel so sad and helpless, so if he is saying he can help me have a successful pregnancy and that will make me happy, then perfect! Hubby and I are ready for a miracle to happen and for us to finally have a little one come to us. The first month after the HCG levels went down I didn’t conceive; I started the baby planning by using ovulation kits, checked up with the doctors, and taking some fertility drugs. This process started in September, I conceived sometime in October and missed my period for November.
See, my life like many other people, didn’t just revolve around the fertility journey. I was laid off from the best position I felt I ever had, working with pre-teens/teens as a Clinical Support Specialist and had health insurance until Oct. 31, 2017, luckily I am proactive and was able to find another job in the meantime. Stresses in life sometimes come all together and in between there are joyful moments. For me, even with all the pregnancy losses/chemical pregnancies, I had many blessings such as the ability to find a job, a family that provides me emotional support, and a loving husband by my side.
My little warrior kept me back and forth to the emergency rooms. I kept spotting throughout this new pregnancy as I did with my others. I saw pretty big clots and remember going to the emergency room thinking this is over, let me have a cup of coffee and just preparing myself for the blow or to learn there is no fetal pole or your baby is no longer there. After all, I experienced the pain of losing pregnancies 3 times, you kind of get use to the trauma and loss of losing the pregnancies in a numbing way. I separated my emotions and just worked on being proactive. I am grateful to have my younger siblings and husband by my side. They spent hours with me in various emergency rooms waiting patiently as we hold on to our breaths waiting to be seen, preparing for the worse.
During my pregnancy, it didn’t matter what the gender of my baby was, all I want is a healthy baby. I remember planning we will not tell anyone the gender of our baby until the big delivery time, I was prepared to play it old school and learn the gender on the delivery date. Tanvir and I had picked out the names we wanted for a boy or girl. My warrior had a sense of humor, this baby had me on my toes throughout the pregnancy. I had lower back pain which started from an incident from work, the back pain did not go away for weeks. I stayed home on bed rest and ultimately decided not to take any risks and stay on bed rest for the full pregnancy. I am very blessed to have my husband step in and take care of our household as I no longer work and my parents for doing all that they did.
My warrior is loved by all of our family members.
It was a shaky 3 months of spotting. Alhumdulilah (Thank the Lord), the bleeding stopped. I went for my 15 week ultrasound, My warrior looks super cute and beautiful, I can’t wait to hold this baby in my arms. I couldn’t believe I am seeing a full baby with a head, arms, and beautiful cute toes so early on in the sonogram.
In a Blink 