During the 3 month follow up, woman have a nuchal translucency test that looks at the fluid under the head behind your developing baby to check for any abnormalities. At that time, they can detect for some genetic abnormalities such as trisomy 21. My warrior passed the nuchal translucency sonogram and genetic test.
I need to do a better job with painting the picture of what was really happening, it would be common sense for a person who has multiple losses to be seen by the high risk doctor, right? I was recommended to see my high risk doctor due to my spotting since I conceived, however, when I went to the high risk doctor, I was told I am having a normal pregnancy and will not need to be seen by the high risk doctor because my prior miscarriages were spontaneous miscarriages and they do not really count as losses since they were terminated early in the first trimester. This it self was difficult to comprehend, but okay, you are the specialist and you are telling me everything that is happening with me is normal. I will rejoice that I am just paranoid and shouldn’t worry (being slightly sarcastic, although sarcasm isn’t my thing). My high risk specialist told me I can resume everything normal and so I did.
At about 18 weeks into my pregnancy, I notice I have lots of discharge coming of clear substance. I also have been increasing my water intake and had some irritation in the vaginal area. I went for my follow up with my OBGYN, she checked my baby’s heart beat and prescribed some vaginal cream that I was unable to receive due to my insurance not giving authorization since it was an expensive cream and when I called the clinic for help, no one was able to help me get my prescription. The OBGYN office did not have a sonogram on site and with the irritation and discharge I didn’t get a sonogram, my baby did have his heartbeat. My anatomy scan for 20 weeks is coming up, so I will get to see my baby on the screen.
During the 20 week anatomy scan, I have the technician asking me so many questions. Now!, you know when the technician is asking you a bunch of questions, then there is a problem. She kept asking me if I felt any water fall, and I said yes, and explained there were times I felt I peed on myself. I thought the discharge was from drinking so much water and figured maybe my baby is low in my uterus and I hear all these stories of women having bladder issues during pregnancies, maybe that’s what I’m experiencing. I explained this to her. She is telling me these things as my husband and I are watching our little baby on the screen. During the 20 week scan, you are able to find out the gender of the baby, so ahead of time I told her we did not want to know the gender because we want it to be a surprise. The technician continues to take pictures of our babies body parts. During the sonogram, she asked the high risk doctor that had me stepped-down from high risk actually look at my baby. The high risk doctor pulled my husband and I aside to speak to us privately.
I am 20 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I am pulled in a room with my husband and will be told something about my baby. The news she broke to us is that my amniotic fluid levels are dangerously low. They need to be at 7 something units, and I am at 1.5. Basically, there is a high chance my angel will either have chronic medical conditions, possibly spinal bifida and/or will be stillborn. She is advising Tanvir and I to terminate our pregnancy before our Angel turns 24 weeks because after 24 weeks we will not be able to terminate the pregnancy according to NY State laws. Imagine just seeing your baby that you prayed and hoped for with a strong heart beat and then your doctor advising you to take your baby’s life away? Are you kidding me? No way can I make that decision. Sorry, I am not that strong to make such a decision and I know are so many supports out there for children with disabilities. I want my baby alive at whatever costs.
I was sent to triage to see if my cervix is open, they checked me out, the cervix is closed. I have a follow up appointment the following week and time to decide before I am 24 weeks to see if I want to terminate my pregnancy. I was recommended to do an amniocentesis test and further genetic testing. I was put in a very difficult place in so many levels. My husband and I were together when we heard all this information and given our choices. My husband was in a moment of reacting, he believed everything the doctor told him and wanted to follow the recommendations of wanting to terminate the pregnancy especially if our baby was going to struggle while if brought into this world, although I can see his view I would not be able to follow through on this option.
In a Blink 