To my little guy Amir,
Your birthday is approaching us and I’m remembering when you were in my womb. I was so happy to see you every appointment. I am having flashbacks of when you were in my belly and I can feel you moving. Little papa, I know you tried your best to survive, I felt you struggling but knew there was no saving you. Being a mom is so hard, I wish I had more power to keep you with me. Sometimes I forget how hard of a loss it is to not have you with me, I’m reminded by others who knew you were in my belly, but didn’t know you didn’t make. It is a tragedy and surviving not having you does take a lot of work and actively making purpose of life after loss.
Amir, I think of you every day. I keep myself busy with work and activities, but my love you you and Aliya are no less. You gave me a strength I didn’t know I had. If you were with me, you would be 4 years old. I wish I got to shower you with all the love in the world, to kiss you, hold you, play with you, dance with you, and so much more. I wish I had the opportunity to spoil you. I will never stop loving you. I pray Allah has you united with all of our family members that have passed and InshAllah one day I get to hold you one day.
Little Baba,
What would you be doing if you were here with me? How tall would you have been? What would be the cartoons you liked? What kind of fusses would you have given me? I wonder what would be the cutest things you would do along with what would have been all the mischievous things you would do. I wish I got to see all of that. My heart misses you and my soul aches for you. And I guess that’s how it will be.
Happy Birthday Amir, you would have been 4 years old and I bet the cutest little guy ever. I love you.
In a Blink 